January 23, 2006

One Month

Dear Layden,

Sunday you turned one month old. It seems like so much longer, so much can't have changed and I can't have learned so much in just one month. Now I'm the mommy, I'm the one who has to make it all better. It isn't just me and Oli anymore, we have our own family now not just the families we had as kids. I have learned that just because your diaper was dry two seconds ago, that doesn't mean it is now. I have learned that just because you have filled your diaper that doesn't mean you are done. I have learned that 5 hours of sleep is alot more than it sounds like. I have learned that I have, and need, a lot more patience then I ever would. I have learned my life, time, breasts and energy are no longer my own. I have also learned that even when I am frustrated to the point of tears the content look on your face that says mommy you are wonderful can make it all better. I have learned that one smile can make it all worth it. I have learned that every new sound you make every new talent you reveal makes me as excited and goofy as I always thought other parents were crazy to be. Now I understand why mom cried so much, you have the power to make me so happy it just leaks out.
This month you have learned what the outside world is like and you aren't entirely sure that you like it. It is cold and bright, now you have to work for your food and deal with messy diapers. Mostly you are putting up with it rather well though your favorite expression is a series of variations on the scowl. You look up at me as if to say, who are you and why did they let you take me home but then you smiled and I figure I can't be screwing up too bad.
You are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. Every time I look at you it amazes me to think that I made you. Sure, I didn't have much control over the process, but still I have never made anything that turned out half as well as you. You might as well know now, your mom is not an artist. If you have any talent you have only your dad to thank. I never imagined that I could love your daddy anymore than I already did but seeing him with you has taught me I could.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

well said sweetie - being a parent is amazing, frustrating and wonderful - welcome to our world - YELAK

Anonymous said...

You just made your mom cry all over again! Seeing you as a mom now 23 years after I experienced all the things you are experiencing has the power to make me so happy it just leaks out. Even though I am somewhat creative otherwise, you and your two siblings are still the best things I ever had anything to do with! I love you! - Mom

Anonymous said...

That is the sweetest thing I have ever read! You have a way of putting things chels!!!

Anonymous said...

Chelsea;
Thank you for sharing these beautiful thoughts and photos with us! It takes me back to when your husband was a little baby in my arms- with a sweet smile just like Layden. Love to all three of you. Mom Joy

Anonymous said...

Wow, that was sweet. You need to make sure you keep things like this so on the days when you feel overwhelmed, you can go back and think about how much you really love that little guy. You are such a sweet mommy!

Rebecca said...

He definitly turned out better than those chocolate cookies that were missing about half of their flour. They all ran together, but oddly enough they still tasted good.